We just potty trained our 2nd daughter. She’s 22 months old. It took five days.

Here’s what I kept hearing on Days 1, 2, and 3…

“She’s too young.”
“Wait til she’s ready.”
“What’s the rush?”

Haters gonna hate.

How it began

Last Friday morning, I popped awake around 4am and decided that it was a good day to start potty training our 22-month-old. We were in the middle of the holidays and I was off from work so the timing made perfect sense.

About two months ago, our youngest daughter (20 months at the time) started taking her diaper off ALL THE TIME. She also peed (and pooped) in the potty a few times. She didn’t initiate actually going to her potty, but she did pee and poop in it when we went together.

However, I didn’t pursue potty training at that time (although it was likely an opportune time to do it).

That was my fault – I wasn’t ready to have two kids requiring bathroom breaks ALL THE TIME.

Not that I’m ready now (I’m really, really not). But I couldn’t pass up this window of opportunity. It’s not all the time that I can dedicate a decent window to do nothing other than watch every move my toddler makes.

Cause to do this right, you have to pay attention to your kid. I mean REALLY pay attention (i.e. don’t take your eyes off of them for days).

Here’s how it works…

Four Steps To Potty Training Your Toddler

Step 1 – Clear Your Schedule

This is no joke. You have to pay attention. If you can’t watch them like a hawk, then make sure you can rotate through a few grown-ups who can keep an eye on them (which is not ideal, but I get it. There’s work and other kids and errands…).

But here’s the thing. CLEAR YOUR SCHEDULE! Kid A, B, and/or C has a birthday party to attend or swimming or gymnastics? THEY’RE NOT GOING (or someone else has to take them).

Why?

Because you won’t be successful unless you can identify your child’s pee signal(s). Yes, YOU. YOU won’t be successful. At 22 months (or around that age), nothing negative that happens during potty training is your child’s fault. It’s all on YOU.

Pee signals are different for everyone. Crossed legs, crotch grabbing, hip dance, shiver. It could be ANYTHING. Your job is to figure out your child’s signal. And there will be a lot of pee to clean up while you do that.

Which leads me to the next step…

Step 2 – Prepare Your House

Gather all your towels. You could be in for some messy days.

If there are any carpets you can roll up and set aside, now is the time to do so. It’s easier to clean pee (or poop) off of wood, laminate, tile, etc. than it is to clean pee (or poop) off of carpet.

Cover your sofa. Cause there’s nothing more fun than pee on your sofa…

I cut plastic bags to make them long, line the sofa, then add towels on top.

I do the same thing on the dining room chairs.

And the stroller. And the carseat.

Cover whatever you need to.

Don’t worry about clothes, though. Your child will remain naked until he/she starts to put all the pee in the potty – regularly.

Which reminds me, be sure to have at least one potty in the house and put it in the bathroom that’s closest to your common area. It’s ok to have alternative options like steps for your child to climb up to the main toilet, but you also want to offer a potty that your child can easily access. When kids are this young, they may not be able to climb and get into pee position with enough time or they may be afraid of the big toilet.

Step 3 – Oh Crap! Potty Training

Invest in the book Oh Crap! Potty Training by Jamie Glowacki.

And read it before you begin.

We started potty training my older daughter around 17 months. We tried for a few days then put it on hold because we had the crazy misconception that she’d learn everything within three days and potty training would be complete. I forget which book(s) we read, but no part of the process went “as planned” for us.

We tried again at 19 months. We read another book that I don’t remember the name of. After a week, we were frustrated because she didn’t seem to be making ANY progress and we were exhausted.

I started researching books again and I came across Oh Crap! Potty Training. I downloaded it, read it in a few hours, took some deep breaths, and adopted a totally new approach to the potty training process.

See, before your kid can learn potty training from start to finish, he/she has to learn the stages of pee. From feeling like you have pee –> to getting to a potty in time –> to releasing the pee –> to knowing when you got all the pee out – it’s a process that we take for granted. But can you imagine how hard it must be for a 1-2 year old to figure all of that out when he/she used to just pee in a diaper as needed?

So we started over (yes, you can do that anytime). We started watching her. We learned that when she froze and stood perfectly still, pee was coming. Sometimes she would also shiver. Our bathroom was far away from our common area, so we kept a potty in the living room to start (this is not ideal – it doesn’t offer the privacy that some kids want or need, but sometimes it’s necessary at the beginning).

She seemed to begin to recognize that pee was coming, but she WOULD NOT sit on the potty. We were at a loss. I remembered reading about using a solo cup at times when your kid was in the bathtub and had to pee, so I decided to see what would happen if we used a solo cup INSTEAD of the potty for a bit. It totally worked! She would wait for the cup just like any other kid would wait to get to a potty. We spent quite a while using that method with her.

Overall, between our first week of total disaster through our re-training process, I’d say she was potty trained in a month.

I believe a HUGE reason it took so long to potty train her was because WE were so high-strung and stressed out about the whole process. I believe we hindered her potty training success.

After that experience, I vowed not to start so early with our second child. But then I woke up last Friday and decided I was ready.

And, again, I believe OUR laissez-faire attitude this time around helped things run much more smoothly.

It is beyond the scope of this post to go further into exactly what happened during every second of her potty training experience or to troubleshoot common issues, but I’d be happy to answer any questions in the comments section of this post.

Just remember, though, this is all on YOU as the parent. Don’t let yourself get frustrated with your kid. If what you’re doing isn’t working, YOU have to change something.

And that leads me to the most important step of all.

Step 4 – CHILL OUT

Yeah YOU.

YOU need to clear your schedule and give your full attention to your child. When you miss the cues and your kid pees all over the floor, don’t get mad at your kid. Let me repeat that – DON’T GET MAD AT YOUR KID.

Your kid is going to be naked at this point and your kid is going to make messes. When they start peeing on the floor, move them (calmly) to the potty. Don’t berate them. Say something positive if they end up getting any pee in the potty. Then say “pee doesn’t go on the floor – pee goes in the potty” (in that order cause the kid will only remember the last thing you say). Then clean up without getting mad at them.

Then do it all over again. For a week if you have to. All day every day. Eventually they will get it. Really, they will.

Then you will move on to clothes, and finally, to underpants.

Yes, it’s hard – especially the part where you can’t take your eyes off of them. But chill out. It doesn’t last forever.

I promise.

Questions?

If there’s an area you want me to go into more detail about, let me know in the comments below. I’m no expert, but I’ve done this two totally different ways with two totally different kids and I’d be happy to troubleshoot with you.

Some parting thoughts…

Poop training is harder (and different) than pee training. Nap time and bedtime are still diaper times for our younger daughter. Actual true fear of the potty/toilet is possible but unlikely. Kids sometimes respond well to privacy. If your child doesn’t seem to be making any progress at all after a week, reevaluate yourself, not your kid.

Tell me about your potty training experiences below! How old was your child when you started? What was the most challenging for you?

*I recommend a few things in this article because they worked for me and they may add value to your life. If you happen to purchase something, I may get some coffee money so I can keep this blog going. I promise to always be honest with you.*